Saturday, December 20, 2008

Mama Memoriam Part 1 "Childhood Memories.."

It’s been a while since my last post. So many things to do lately, at school….

But today I want to write about my mom…my role model J

December 9th is 1000 days after my mom passed away. You know, In Indonesia, and especially in Javaness culture there are some days that become a reminder of someone’s death. (it’s like 3, 7, 40, 100, and 1000). The purpose is, I think, to remind the family and friends to pray for the soul of that person. We’ve done it for my great grandfather who was a bikhu (Buddhists) and also for my grandparents who were Moslem and Christian.

At December 8th night we held a small devotion for my mom and my dad released his new mom’s biography..(I’ll share it next time.. J )

Now about mama, my mom, mimama…..

She surely is my role model in life….

She is a super woman..a wonder woman…(I’m not exaggerating about this…)

She is the type of multi tasking person…and a loving mother….

When I was a kid, after she went home from work and take nap, usually she took me and my little brother with a motorcycle to sell jewelry (door to door), land, property and everything that can be sold. It was a fun moment, although sometime we got rain on the way or tired (coz my mom who was afraid of my legs get into the wheel of the motorcycle always ask me to spread my legs when I sat behind her at the motorcycle…hahaha if I remember that it must have been silly….) And she loves to eat.. so every time we’ve able to sell something or whenever my dad’s book published or at any special events, restaurant is the place where we celebrate it…KDS in Malang is our fave restaurant when I was a kid…

She also a type of person that never stop learning. Although she must had been busy of having 2 kids(3 on the way), a job to do, and a business to manage, she still have time and energy to take her master degree at UGM, Jogya… a city with 6-7 hours travel from my home town.. I still remember how my brother and me compete to cry hysterically whenever it’s time for her to go to Jogya for her studies..(before that my my dad took the master degree at UGM too, and after he finished it, my mom took the degree there..) Now when I have baby of my own, I know that it must been hard for her to left her babies at that time….

Something that I remember during my childhood is how mama and papa can share happily and equally about their marriage. I mean, when there’s the time for papa to study at Jogya or having project out of Island, mama spent more time at home to be with me and my siblings, and when it’s time for mama to study or have work at other town, papa was the one who take care of us… There’s seems like unspoken agreement that whenever their spouse busy doing something, the other should be able to be with the kids… And I think they have managed it well….

One value that I salute from them is “husband and wife have the same obligation to raise the children, have the same obligation to earn money for the family, have the same obligation to manage the house…”

So if right now I saw a friend of mine (male) feels threaten by his spouse’s earning, even dump his fiancée because the fiancée earns more money than him…I never keep questioning why…What’s the problems for that?

Sometimes, my mom earned more money from her property business…And my dad always think that it was a blessing for the family… Either husband or wife earns the money.. It’s all for the kids, for the family’s sake. I admire him for this. Probably also because mama never underestimates papa or “melihat sebelah mata”. Papa is still the head of the family. I know that all of papa salary is given to mama for daily living, while the money from mama business or papa’s book royalty is to be invested or for the kids. So Since a kid I saw mutual respect between my parents. No one is higher nor lower. On every case they always discuss to each other before taking any action. “Keterbukaan” is the key of their marriage life. If right now I saw some of students’ fathers blame on their wives for the kids behaviors... in my opinion it’s been their fault too not being with the kid, never spent time during the kids growth. Or if some of the mothers blame on the fathers whenever they have financial problems and can not afford the school anymore…I never stop wondering, why do they need to blame their spouse..they can work or figure out something to help the family financial, right? Woman also human that can think, can work can do something for family financing…

Even one friend of mine (different from the one that I mention before…) he is a well educated person, but he thinks that his wife should be the maid at house, the babysitter (he only wants to play with his kid and don’t want to do the “dirty” work..). If the house is dirty blame his wife, when I saw that actually I want to yell “You don’t know how tired it is to keep the house clean while you have babies at home..” But that’s make me grateful also because Thank God my husband is not like that…Although he is tired sometime Mayok still willingly help to clean the house (because cleaning is my weakness :p sorry pa..) or take care of Alex..(Makasi Pa..I love you..)

(To be continued…)

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