BLUE CHRISTMAS....

I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas...
Just like the one I used to know...
When the tree top glisten...
And children listen...

Hiks..hiks...I miss my baby....
It's a blue Christmas..
Coz I spend it far away for the people that I love...
Away from my baby boy Alex...



I miss him so much...
This is Alex first Christmas without me....

As an excuse I kept telling my self that it is for the sake for my family
And for Alex eventually....
But...
It just feels diffrent...

Hopefully the problems that drag me to Jakarta during my holiday can be solve soon...
Hopefully...
Amen...

Mama Memoriam Part 1 "Childhood Memories.."

It’s been a while since my last post. So many things to do lately, at home..at school….

But today I want to write about my mom…my role model J

December 9^th is 1000 days after my mom passed away. You know, In Indonesia, and especially in Javaness culture there are some days that become a reminder of someone’s death. (it’s like 3, 7, 40, 100, and 1000). The purpose is, I think, to remind the family and friends to pray for the soul of that person. We’ve done it for my great grandfather who was a bikhu (Buddhists) and also for my grandparents who were Moslem and Christian.

At December 8^th night we held a small devotion for my mom and my dad released his new book..my mom’s biography..(I’ll share it next time.. J )

Now about mama, my mom, mimama…..

She surely is my role model in life….

She is a super woman..a wonder woman…(I’m not exaggerating about this…)

She is the type of multi tasking person…and a loving mother….

When I was a kid, after she went home from work and take nap, usually she took me and my little brother with a motorcycle to sell jewelry (door to door), land, property and everything that can be sold. It was a fun moment, although sometime we got rain on the way or tired (coz my mom who was afraid of my legs get into the wheel of the motorcycle always ask me to spread my legs when I sat behind her at the motorcycle…hahaha if I remember that it must have been silly….) And she loves to eat.. so every time we’ve able to sell something or whenever my dad’s book published or at any special events, restaurant is the place where we celebrate it…KDS in Malang is our fave restaurant when I was a kid…

She also a type of person that never stop learning. Although she must had been busy of having 2 kids(3 on the way), a job to do, and a business to manage, she still have time and energy to take her master degree at UGM, Jogya… a city with 6-7 hours travel from my home town.. I still remember how my brother and me compete to cry hysterically whenever it’s time for her to go to Jogya for her studies..(before that my my dad took the master degree at UGM too, and after he finished it, my mom took the degree there..) Now when I have baby of my own, I know that it must been hard for her to left her babies at that time….

Something that I remember during my childhood is how mama and papa can share happily and equally about their marriage. I mean, when there’s the time for papa to study at Jogya or having project out of Island, mama spent more time at home to be with me and my siblings, and when it’s time for mama to study or have work at other town, papa was the one who take care of us… There’s seems like unspoken agreement that whenever their spouse busy doing something, the other should be able to be with the kids… And I think they have managed it well….

One value that I salute from them is “husband and wife have the same obligation to raise the children, have the same obligation to earn money for the family, have the same obligation to manage the house…”

So if right now I saw a friend of mine (male) feels threaten by his spouse’s earning, even dump his fiancée because the fiancée earns more money than him…I never keep questioning why…What’s the problems for that?

Sometimes, my mom earned more money from her property business…And my dad always think that it was a blessing for the family… Either husband or wife earns the money.. It’s all for the kids, for the family’s sake. I admire him for this. Probably also because mama never underestimates papa or “melihat sebelah mata”. Papa is still the head of the family. I know that all of papa salary is given to mama for daily living, while the money from mama business or papa’s book royalty is to be invested or for the kids. So Since a kid I saw mutual respect between my parents. No one is higher nor lower. On every case they always discuss to each other before taking any action. “Keterbukaan” is the key of their marriage life. If right now I saw some of students’ fathers blame on their wives for the kids behaviors... in my opinion it’s been their fault too not being with the kid, never spent time during the kids growth. Or if some of the mothers blame on the fathers whenever they have financial problems and can not afford the school anymore…I never stop wondering, why do they need to blame their spouse..they can work or figure out something to help the family financial, right? Woman also human that can think, can work can do something for family financing…

Even one friend of mine (different from the one that I mention before…) he is a well educated person, but he thinks that his wife should be the maid at house, the babysitter (he only wants to play with his kid and don’t want to do the “dirty” work..). If the house is dirty blame his wife, when I saw that actually I want to yell “You don’t know how tired it is to keep the house clean while you have babies at home..” But that’s make me grateful also because Thank God my husband is not like that…Although he is tired sometime Mayok still willingly help to clean the house (because cleaning is my weakness :p sorry pa..) or take care of Alex..(Makasi Pa..I love you..)

(To be continued…)

Mama Memoriam Part 2 "During my teenage.."

Later on, when I was a teenage, I started to realize how hard it is for papa and mama try to give the best for their kids. I mean when mama and papa marriage they starting definitely from zero. Although my mom’s family is a welfare family, but she want to start it from zero with my dad. From their stories, I know that during their first months of marriage, they rent someone’s garage (not exactly a garage actually, just a “lompongan”) because they can’t afford to rent a house. And then when I was born they rent a house but half of it was still “gedeg” (bamboo). Thank God when my brother was born, papa had some fortune from a project and start bought a house. And during that time I always can find either papa or mama or both of them to help me with my homework and stuff. To mama I can tell her every problem that I had (but when I was at Junior High, I was an introvert so mostly I kept it my own..”dark ages” of my life :p..but since Senior High I begin more open.. Thanks to my dear big host brother Casper R Molthe.. and since that I always discuss with mama about everything…)

And I know mama and papa always discuss about everything…from their work, their friends, us as their kids :p…on everything… So I guess who lose her the most is papa.

Mama indeed a persistent person…when she wanted something she gonna gave her best effort to get it…And won’t stop until she receive it…When she failed…she stood up again and tried it again….

As a broker she had the capability to persuade people…When she saw opportunity she gonna chased it and won’t stop until it success….

If she can not made it to sell a house she will offer another.. and another.. and another till the buyer buy something or till the buyer positively don’t want to buy anything.

For some people who don’t know her very close, probably she is too pushing or demanding…but actually it’s just another work principle on her life to never stop trying and struggling…

That’s what inspire me to teach my kid and my students…”to never stop trying and struggling..”

She surely do a hard worker…. Sometime I even wonder where did she have the energy to do everything…as a wife, a housewife, a mother, a lecturer, a rector assistant, a broker, a house engineer, a writer (although most of the chapter made by papa) and other so much a……

How can she manage her time…?

How can she still able to made ice cream, cakes, or ayam bumbu kalak (Ido fave) or asem – asem (my fave :p ) or sup merah which very delicious until my aunt always order it for family gathering…

I still have to learn a lot to be like her…I still have a clumsy time arrangement :p

Sometime after go home from school, I feel to tired to do anything…. But I guess that because I put the boundary my self..(hmmm…) I should stretch my limit….

24 hours is too precious to be spent on doing nothing….

That’s another value I got from mama…I should learn on how she did it…

(wait for the next….)